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Subject:Curse Facebook's Total Lack of Animinity
Time:04:17 pm
So I started a wise-ass porn-review blog called Porn Worth Watching (dot net). I got cruedly shopped images, humorous writing bits, and I can't fucking tell anyone. You know, kids read my Facebook. SO I'm announcing it here with a scavenger hunt: Find this image. It's even funnier with context.


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Subject:I'm in trouble.
Time:02:29 am
It's been awhile; the Facebook era seems to have eliminated complex thought from the Internet.

I'm curious. I like to solve problems, ask questions, and look around corners simply to see what's there--no intention of getting involved. I'd climb Mt. Sinai to find God simply to go "oh, there you are," or, "oh, there you aren't." The down side of this lifestyle is that there are things you cannot unsee, and us curious cats run out of lives fast.

I see corruption. Everywhere. It seems like every time I search for an answer "why does ______ suck so much" the answer "greedy people are manipulating lawmakers and using logical fallacies to deceive the public about it" pops up.

The Mayor has been using vicious, and according to a judge recently, ILLEGAL techniques to close down schools. Yes, my school and 33 others because we don't fit his divine plan. By the way, it is also ILLEGAL and completely against American political philosophy for him to be Mayor for three terms. Yet there he is in term #3.

Wall Street. The Congress, urged on by the people, voted "no" on the bailout on a Monday. Yet the rich had their precious bailout by Thursday. How the fuck did that happen? The criminally greedy were finally about to twist in the wind as proof there is justice in this world. Bailout.

Housing & Insurance issues: Don't start with me on this, I spent 2003-2006 trying to warn everyone. No one listened.

And many more! One of these things might have cause me the sort of rage that evaporates after a few good gaming sessions. But I'm faced with unfair situations EVERYWHERE I turn. I work FOR these people. I'm in their system, giving more than I have for not enough money to afford the ridiculously high home and insurance* prices set by America's True Ruling Class.

If not for my company** I'd probably be looking for some poetic way to kill myself. Quickly. Not this slow-and-boring "try to teach word problems to people who can't read or count" they have me doing at work.

I'm not having a good time personally either. I've got my first 'mystery illness' that the doctor's usual "quick glance, here's your prescription (we all get a commission)" technique won't fix. See? Corruption. There's no investigation of my symptoms or thorough exploration of how the sick came to be--like there is on House. Just "buy these pills from the pharmacy and we'll all feel better." Well I paid and got no better. The industry seems healthy though.

I need a new place to live because this one is crumbling. I've upgraded in my life--more stuff, business, I need more space and can pay for it. My would-be roommates, CAN NOT. I can have the lifestyle I want OR the people I want. Not both. Yeah, digest that with perpetual illness and the sense of a dark world all around you and see how good a place you're in.




*Yeah, I teach so I get health care. But if I ragequit I have to buy the insurance myself. See the trap? See the "you better straighten up and fly right and play our unfair bullshit control games" mechanism at work? If health care were affordable, no one would put up with this shit.

**See what I did there? That word means "business" but also means "friends."
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Subject:Deathklok Concert
Time:04:29 pm
Oct. 30th. Hammerstein Ballroom.

I don't know who else wants to go and the tickets are pricey. If I knew how many I was buying maybe I can get them online, but since they had to ADD ANOTHER SHOW ON THE 29TH that could mean Friday's is already sold out. However, there is always someone going "tickets, tickets."

SO, who wants to come down to NYC and if we don't get tickets, go out and do something else fun?
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Subject:Day 29 and bonus LOL
Time:06:37 pm
Today's lol is brought to you by The Escapist Forums:

"Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger wants all you kids out there to quit wasting time playing Guitar Hero and learn how to play a real instrument instead."

The Reply: "And I want Nickelback to stop playing the watered-down, same 4-chords bullshit that they call music, but hey I'm not getting my wish any time soon, and neither are they."


OK, now I've got you reading. Day 29:

Tomorrow is the last day, but neither Friday, Saturday, nor Sunday will offer any sort of time for retribution. Anime Boston leaves no time for such things. Besides, I can buy real doujinshi there. If I had bothered to look ahead to Day 30, I might have waited a few days before starting. Oh well.

Over 29 days the lesson has made itself clear: Internet Porn is necessary, healthy, and relaxing but I was wasting too much time on it. Letting it run rampant in your life unregulated would be unwise.

I will decide ahead of time which days will be Net Porn Free. I'm not going to designate a Porn Day; bending your schedule around porn is a worse problem than allowing it to absorb too much of your free time. (If you're bending your schedule that means porn has priority.) Furthermore, if I had a Porn Day I'd get snickerous, knowing glances from anyone who figured out which day(s) are Porn Days. Thus, each week will have some days where Net Porn is not allowed.

A week should have at least 4 days in it where you're just going to do anything else with your spare time. I was on 7. Whether it was industry research, reading, commenting on forums, or just checking for updates out of curiosity I was doing something Not Safe For Work somewhere.

So, Monday May 25th the power goes back on. And everyone's off from work. *sigh* Tuesday, May 26th the power goes back on.

-Fanboy
Time to go to Anime Boston.
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Subject:Day 25
Time:02:16 am
The end is near!

One of the indicators I said I'd watch is the increase in productivity. I can say there has been none. Like I said, I'm diligent in my laziness. There is one difference, however. I can proudly declare what I've been doing with my time. For example.

Rydia's Mathemagic Minute is a minigame in Final Fantasy IV for the DS. Scoring well in each minigame powers up one of Rydia's summons. Being in love with both Mathematics and FF4, I pounced on this game until I accomplished a score of 9999--the traditional FF maximum.

I did it shortly after the day 22 post also--I desperately needed to win something.

At first I was merely proud. You know that feeling. Accomplishment. The thing accomplished is irrelevant. However, I consulted the internet and have found that my skill in this game may actually be World-Class. ("World" meaning "People who play FF4.")

Google Rydia's Mathemagic Minute. The links go to wikis and message boards, mostly. You will find descriptions, hints, CHEATS, and PROGRAMS WRITTEN TO DO THE MATH FOR YOU. What I didn't find has amazed me:

I FOUND NO CLAIMS OF ACTUALLY SOLVING THE GAME HONESTLY WITHIN THE 60 SECOND TIME LIMIT.

The game is simple. Use +, -, x or / on four digits. When you use 2 numbers, the answer goes into your digit box. Use all 4 numbers to make 10. To use numbers, tap the stylus on the operation, then drag the numbers into the boxes.

To get a score of 9999, you must complete this 9 times in 60 seconds--without passing. It takes 5 seconds to move everything in place with the stylus. That leaves you with 15 seconds to think of answers for 9 problems. (Just under 1.67 seconds per question.)

The cheat is to open the software, then close your DS to freeze the clock. Punch your numbers in and make your stylus moves. With proper technique and patient cheating, you might answer 12 questions this way. The score will still be 9999 though.

Anyway, it took many tries, the complete surrender of porn and resisting the urge to shove the stylus through the DS screen but I got that score honestly god dammit. Square Enix message boards, I fart in your general direction.

-Fanboy
I hear that board's father smelt of elderberries.
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Subject:Day 22
Time:05:20 pm
It took 22 days, but I'm in a position where I really need to get out of my own head right now. The last 20 minutes have brought a HUGE influx of anger. This is the kind of rage that turns addicts towards their addictions (perhaps in the first place). So, having a dire shortage of addictions to harmful substances, I'd like nothing more than to dive into the Internet's clear, crystal, porn lake.

I can't do that either.

So...what now?

I've gotten old enough to realize that punching random things means they'll still be broken when I'm feeling better. "Random things" includes people. Plus, I don't want to de-rage only to find myself cleaning up.

It's Wednesday, so a new Zero Punctuation should be up.

-Fanboy
I need a new de-rage activity.
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Subject:Day 17
Time:04:15 pm
What sucks is that I'll be working at Anime Boston on Day 30. That environment is usually full of physical porn but surf-free as time, responsibility and exhaustion keep me off of internet porn quite naturally.

Hmmm...abstaining from Internet porn via meaningful work you enjoy. I should be glad to have this option for even 1 weekend. Most will never have it.

It's the Saturday hours between the Completion of Work and the Time To Go Out that are the hardest. www.ted.com has wonderful time-wasting lectures, but I think I've watched most or all of the riveting ones. Tagging a video as "jaw-dropping" doesn't make it so. Maybe I should put a fake tag on this post.

Thus, the experiment will run 33 days.

It has occurred to me that time wasted watching an Internet video is time wasted watching an Internet video. All damages to my general health resulting from staying up until 3am do not care exactly what I was watching--www.ted.com is as equally evil as www.AnimeSlutsWhoTurned18YesterdayAndHaveTheirHairInPigtailsWhileTheyFuck43Tentacles.com.

You know those anime girls really aren't sluts. If they're on tentacles chances are it's rape and the girl is unfortunate but, you know...marketing says to call them sluts.

-Fanboy
I wonder if that domain is still available.
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Subject:I edited Wikipedia!
Time:10:46 pm
=== Possible Secret Message ===
Shortening the names used for Actives from the [[NATO phonetic alphabet|phonetic alphabet]] down to letters gives the letters A, E, N, S, W, and V. The Season 1 Finale mentions an Omega. While this is the last letter in the Greek alphabet, taken as an O you can put it with the other six letters and unscramble them into a secret message: SAVE NOW. While this is symbolic on several levels from rescue concepts to suggesting proper data storage is a matter of life and death, it is unknown if this was done intentionally.

Almost guaranteed someone re-edited and deleted that fact but dammit, my inner geek will not be denied.

-Fanboy
Such a great time to grow up geek.
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Subject:Day 15
Time:11:02 pm
I'd like to say nothing changed. That would be a slight lie. There are slight differences and it pains me to admit the changes have been good.

The simple act of ending up asleep 90, even 30 minutes earlier has made long days just a little easier to endure. This is a side effect of not first becoming engrossed in a text story at 11:30pm or later.

There have been no measurements, but I feel like I can watch Buffy on Netflix and play FF4 more. Again, these are hours I'm staying awake because I slept well, plus the hours I'm not looking for porn. Of course, this result can't be blamed entirely on the experiment--I made it entirely through Battlestar Galactica with Internet porn alive and well. I also made it through Fushigi Yuugi, Rurouni Kenshin, Shaman King, Basilisk, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, and the entire series of Dresden novels.

I blame my selling out and getting a job for the fact that I watch less anime and play fewer games.

I still think that after day 30 it will be a good idea to have pornless days. I DON'T want a porn day. The last thing I need are smirks from people who figure out which day that is. There should be 3 or 4 days randomly chosen where I just won't do it. Well, psuedo-random. If I'm working from 8am to 11pm, that's definitely a pornless day.

-Fanboy
I'm not going 30 days without orgasm. I'm too scared of the "If you don't use it, you lose it" principle.
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Subject:This should be interesting.
Time:07:36 pm
Poll #1393370 Can you go 30 days without Internet Porn?

Can you go 30 days without Internet Porn?

Too easy. Try 30 days without orgasms.
5(45.5%)
You're an inspiration. I'll do it.
2(18.2%)
You're not an inspiration. I'll do it.
1(9.1%)
I could do it. I just don't want to.
3(27.3%)
30 days? I can barely do 30 hours!
0(0.0%)


-Fanboy
This catches on and the Internet porn industry is on it's knees (hah!) for 30 days.
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